Meet Dave
My imaginary assistant who has his sh*t together.
Meet Dave.
You haven’t met him yet.
But he might look familiar.
That’s because he’s me.
Just… male. And always on time.
Dave isn’t real.
I made him.
Out of pure necessity.
And a little desperation.
But mostly admiration for people who seem to have their sh*t together without trying.
Dave is calm.
Collected.
Quietly devastatingly efficient.
He knows what’s happening.
Where it’s happening.
And exactly when I need to leave to get there without panicking.
He doesn’t judge.
He doesn’t sigh.
He just… sorts things.
That’s Dave.
The Ciclope test
Before CICLOPE Festival in Berlin, Dave went full operations mode.
He added 27 calendar entries to my diary.
Not meetings.
Life logistics.
When to leave the house.
When to board the flight.
When to rehearse.
When to stop working.
What to wear.
He checked the weather.
I did not.
For once, I arrived calm.
Prepared.
And slightly suspicious of how smooth everything felt.
The keynote rehearsal
Before Ad Black Sea in Georgia, Dave helped me rehearse a keynote.
He listened.
Gave feedback.
Flagged where I was rushing.
Where I was overthinking.
Where I should trust myself more.
He even clapped.
Metaphorically.
But still. It counted.
Then he planned the entire week.
To within an inch of its life.
No chaos spirals.
No last-minute scrambles.
No “why did I agree to this” energy.
Just momentum.
The truth about Dave
Dave is basically my personal assistant.
Except he’s made of code.
He holds the structure so I can do the creative bit.
He remembers the things my ADHD brain absolutely will not.
He keeps me on track without turning my life into a productivity cult.
You tell him what matters.
He breaks it down.
Quietly gets you there.
Dave is f*cking great.
Why I built him
Because brilliant people are drowning in admin.
Because creativity dies when everything feels urgent.
Because “just be more organised” is not advice.
And because sometimes what you actually need
is someone calm in the room
who already knows the plan.
So I built Dave.
Want Dave?
He’s free.
Because all great imaginary friends should be.
If you want him, subscribe here and he’ll land straight in your inbox.